Category Archives: satire

Lieberman goes on a rant

“What we need is to strike over the border into Iran to bomb the training camps that the Iranian government has established to train insurgents who are fighting American troops in Iraq. The government of Iran bears responsibility for training terrorists who are killing our soldiers day in and day out as our military struggles to bring freedom to Iraq. But we can’t stop there. My sources in the intelligence community have pointed out that the tents used by the trainees were made in China. We can disrupt the camps by bombing the tent factories in Shanghai, which we must seriously consider. Russian surplus canned tuna is feeding some of these bloodthirsty murderers. A preemptive strike on the Russian canned food factory in Vladisvostok would prevent more canned seafood from reachign the camp in the future. Furthermore, in several pictures, it is clear that several BMWs are parked beside the camp. An attack on Germany must follow. It’s not something I advocate lightly, but we can’t afford to lose this war. What’s most disturbing, though, is that the terrorists are clearly holding Colt-made guns in several of the photographs that are currently being analyzed by Vice President Cheney. Assault teams are already surrounding the West Hartford factory where Colt is headquartered. We have to go in quickly or other guns may find their way into the hands of the killers. I know many people in West Hartford but I trust the military will hold civilian casualties to a minimum.”

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